Wednesday, August 27, 2014

What I Wore

I'm totally late posting this edition of what I wore, but I've been so busy with Junior League stuff that I didn't have time to crop photos. Sorry! But better late than never, right?
Linking up with the Pleated Poppy!

Outfit #1

My first time ever rolling up my skinnies.

Top - Target / Pants - Old Navy / Shoes - Sam Edelman

Fun and bright with my blue toenails!

Outfit #2

Apparently I was on a colored pants kick. But, really these are bright pink and the others are coral. :) Small differences to some, but very big to a designer! We had a Junior League event at J. Crew this night and I felt the need to actually wear something from there, so pink capris it was!

Top - Target - $9.98 / Necklace - Stella & Dot / Pants - J. Crew / Shoes - Vince Camuto

Outfit #3

I had lots of plans for this day, but didn't end up doing anything. Sometimes a day like that is just what the doctor ordered.

Top - Loft / Jeans - Levi's / Flips - Land's End

Here's a close-up of the ruffle detail on the shirt. Very cute.

Outfit #4

Spent the afternoon shopping in this. Great outfit for repeatedly undressing and dressing again. I got some great stuff, by the way!

Top - Design History / Jeans - Levi's / Flips - Tory Burch

Outfit #5

I decided I needed to wear this dress before it was too cold to do so.

Dress - Worthington / Shoes - Vince Camuto

Outfit #5

A new shirt! I'm in love with this antique rose color right now. 

Top - H&M - $17.95 / Necklace - J. Crew / Pants - Style & Co. / Shoes - Vince Camuto

That's it for this week! I'll see you back here next week with more outfits (and more new stuff!).

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

What I Wore

Welcome back to another week of what I wore!
I'm linking up with the Pleated Poppy.

Outfit #1

I wore this the day we were taking head shots and a group photo for Junior League's Board of Directors. I felt very cute. The first group photo has been published and I look like shit in it. I hope the head shots aren't as bad. Also, this was the first day I wore heels since falling down the stairs. Mistake! My foot swelled up and the bruising got worse. Sad. :(

Top - Darling via ASOS / Necklace - gift from my uncle / Pants - Style & Co. / Shoes - Vince Camuto

Outfit #2

Back to the flats. Also, I was going to be crazy at work this day prepping for a big client meeting, so I decided to be very casual. 

Dress - Target / Flips - Land's End

Outfit #3

This was my causal but cute outfit for our client meeting. Boss man would prefer that I wear heels, but that wasn't happening.

Dress - Target / Belt - from a skirt / Necklace - Loft / Shoes - Tory Burch

I love these Tory Burch flats. Also, look how much better my bruises are getting!

Outfit #4

I really liked this outfit when I wore it last week, so I wore it again. I had a busy day - running around the design center with our big client and then book club, so I wanted to be cute and comfortable. This definitely accomplished that!

Top - Inc / Necklace - Charming Charlie? / Jeans - J. Jill / Shoes - Steve Madden

Outfit #5

Boss man is out of the office this week, so I'm going casual. :)

Top - JCP / Necklace - J. Jill? / Pants - J. Jill / Shoes - Target

I don't wear these often, but aren't they cute?

Outfit #6

I decided to try out heels again and today was much better than last week! Also, I realized I hadn't worn this dress all summer, so I decided it needed to come out of the closet. :)

Dress - Target / Belt - ? / Shoes - Coach

That's it for this week! See you back here next week for more outfits!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

What I Wore

Hello, hello, hello! Welcome back to another week of what I wore!
I'm linking up with the Pleated Poppy!

Outfit #1

I love this dress, but for some reason this is the first time I wore it this summer! And this is the only day this week that I wore heels because I slipped on the not-often worn leather soles of these shoes and fell down the stairs at work. Instead of falling back on my ass (where I have some cushion), I fell forward on my knees down the last couple steps and I hurt my foot pretty bad. I couldn't handle wearing my usual shoes and even the flips I wore a couple times were a little tight when I was all swollen. :(

Dress - J. Crew / Shoes - Coach

Outfit #2

Top - Target / Pants - AB Studio / Shoes - Steve Madden

Aren't these cute shoes?!? This was the day after falling and my left foot was pretty swollen. (The bruises didn't show up for a couple days.) These shoes are nice and loose, and I needed to add a pop of color to the outfit. :)

Outfit #3

I love this top but for some reason I don't wear it very often.  I'd prefer this outfit with heels, but that was just not doable.

Top - INC / Necklace - Charming Charlie? / Jeans - J. Jill / Flips - Tory Burch

Look - the bruising is starting! And still swollen. :(

Outfit #4

Casual day at the office.

Top - Target / Necklace - Loft / Skirt - Target / Flips - Tory Burch

That's it for this week! I'll see you back here next week with more outfits!

Monday, August 11, 2014

The Confidence Bucket List

Things I hope to have the confidence to do one day:

1. Wear a swimsuit in public.
This is a big one for me. I really don't like my body enough to put it all out there yet.

2. Ask a guy out on a date.
The single life is lonely. And while I'd much prefer for a guy to ask me out, if I do find a guy I like, I want to actually have the confidence to ask him out. :)

3. Go out in public without makeup.
Pretty self-explanatory. I actually prefer to wear makeup, but I'd like to be confident enough to go out without in every once in a while.
a no makeup pic I posted on instagram recently - eeeekkk!

4. Hike in the Colorado mountains.
Colorado is full of very active, very fit people. One day I want to be comfortable enough to be out there hiking with them. I will never be a mountain girl, but we really do have some beautiful nature here and I want to be able to enjoy it too without feeling like the fat chick who can't hack the hike.
Bridal Veil Falls

5. Leave my unfulfilling, low-paying job.
This one honestly doesn't have anything to do with body confidence, but it definitely belongs on this list for me. I know that this is not all that I can do. Someday I'll get out of this and find a new job and be happier in general because of it.

So, this list is supposed to be ten things and I honestly can't think of any more. I've read through some of the other girls' posts and bucket lists. I already do some of the things they want to do when they have more confidence. Some are things that "curvier" girls aren't supposed to do. I wear tank tops and skinny jeans and skirts and dresses. I wear stylish and close-fitting clothes. I wear red lipstick. I can get up in front of room of hundreds of stylish women and speak to them, and while I might be nervous I know that I fit in with them. I take lots of pictures of myself -hello? Have you seen my What I Wore posts? :)

So I know I'm getting there. I'm already well on my way. :)

Friday, August 8, 2014

The First Time

Here's the second subject I'm choosing to write about from the Curvy Girl month of prompts - the first time you were called fat. I'll be honest - this is a tough one for me to write about. It makes me explore deep and very hurtful feelings from a long time ago. These things tend to really stick with you, as this incident has really stuck with me, and bubble up again to make me feel inadequate at random times.

I'm not 100% sure that this was the first time that somebody called me fat, but it's the first time that I remember it. I was a freshman in highschool and I was trying to figure out my place, my group in the new school. I'm not sure why exactly felt the need for this. The majority of my friends from middle school were also at this new school. All of my best friends were at this new school. I guess it's because of the influx of new people - new kids in our class and all of the upper classmen, too. I wanted to be considered cool, I wanted to be popular. 

Anyhoo, my friend Megan and I started hanging out with a group of older guys. Guys I wanted to impress. One of the guys, Troy, was interested in Megan. Because I was one of her best friends, I was her tag along. I was not the girl that guys were interested in. All of my girlfriends were the girls the guys were interested in. I was the friend with glasses that always tagged along. I was always the third wheel. (I still feel like the third wheel a lot of the time.)

Megan was a really pretty girl. Long red curly hair. A great figure. At this time I had short hair (and of course my glasses), but I really don't think I was fat (yet). I was a dancer, had been dancing since I was very young. I wasn't stick thin, but I had muscular legs and I'm relatively short. Most of my best girlfriends were much, much taller and quite skinny. So in comparison to them, I was definitely bigger.

Below is a picture from this time. I'm with my sister. I started wearing baggy shirts to hide myself, even though there wasn't really a reason to hide. You can see my legs a bit and now I can say I definitely wasn't fat, but I felt like I was. 

me & my sis in highschool

Back to the story. Megan and I were hanging out with Troy and his friends one night. One of Troy's friends, Brandon, called Megan and I "Crockett and Tubbs". Megan was Crockett because of her red hair. I was Tubbs because I was the fat one. I can't even convey how much that hurt. It actually devastated me. I was the fat one to these guys. They would never look at me any differently, I would never impress them.

I can honestly look back at that moment as the sole experience that changed the way I viewed myself and screwed up my confidence for the rest of my life. Yes, there have definitely been other incidents and experiences that have hurt since then, but this is the first. That defining moment.

From that moment on, I felt like I was less of a person because I was fat. I felt like I had to compensate or qualify things or make do. I had to try harder with guys or I had to lower my expectations. I didn't deserve a boyfriend because I was fat.

I also made excuses. I can't play lacrosse and run around because I'm fat. I can't go out for cheerleading because I'm fat. I can't come back from surgery to dance again because I'm fat. It doesn't matter if I gain weight now because I'm already fat.

Highschool essentially sucked because of my feeling like this. And I felt like this because one guy - Brandon - called me Tubbs and changed my view of myself forever.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

What I Wore

Welcome back to What I Wore! Sorry I've been MIA the past few weeks. I've been really busy and then went on vacation for a bit. Most of the time I still took pictures of my outfits, so I have a really long post for you today. I'm going to forgo listing where each item of clothing is from this one time, so if you want to know where something came from, just ask!
I'm linking up with the Pleated Poppy, of course!

Outfit #1

Outfit #2

Outfit #3

Outfit #4

Outfit #5

Outfit #6

Outfit #7

Outfit #8

Outfit #9

Outfit #10

Outfit #11

Outfit #12

Outfit #13

Outfit #14

Outfit #15

Outfit #16

Outfit #17

Outfit #18

Outfit #19

Next week I'll go back to my regular posting. Sorry I was gone so long - it's good to be back! :)